News from Earth 8-19-2017

Is global warming too much for you? Tired of having to rebuild your lives due to tornado’s and hurricanes and such? Flooded? Forced to repeatedly move? We have our new GET-OFF-EARTH (GEO) package just for you! We offer an upgraded Emergency Relocation travel package to the moon! Here at Fly-To Inc. we know your a bit short on cash, so for a limited time only we offer the upgraded #2 ‘steerage’ package. Same as #2 package but upgraded to 8’x16’x6′ cargo slot, pets allowed, family counts as cargo rates. Due to demand, we are offer twice daily launches. The #2b package is only 50% more then a standard steerage package. Bank buried under water or rubble? Have no fear, we also offer financing till you get back on your feet, with interest rates as low as 45%! No pre-approval needed! So Fly-To-The-Moon and leave your troubles behind!